The Little Moments that Shape Us

There’s never going to be the right amount of time. Time seems to move in slow motion when we want things to move quickly while there are other moments that we want to last forever.

As I drove home for the final time from my last day of high school, I thought about the way I spend my time. Senior year has been a whirlwind of trying to live in the moment and being present while also trying to think of the future. It is impossible and unnatural to not look to the future. It’s the balance of this excitement yet uncertainty in the midst of trying to be all in to the moments and relationships we have now that makes it difficult sometimes.

On my drive home today I realized that I wasted too much time this year being anxious and angry about things I could not change. There were times I was not able to fully pour in to my friends and family because I was so discontent with my reality. There are always going to be things that seem as though they are wrecking you in the moment when in reality they are either completely irrelevant to your life or are rather helping you grow in a way you don’t realize. There were times I found myself focusing only on the negativity around me rather than trying to see the good in things. I let the little things become big and the unimportant become important. What I often did not realize in these moments though was that there is way more good than bad and way more joy than hurt to focus on. This negativity can rob us of some of the sweetest times. It’s living in the moment and being all in with my relationships that I find pure sweetness and joy.

These ten months of senior year could have been ten years and it still would not have felt like enough time. There were days I wished would fast forward and move straight to graduation day and then there were days I wished I could pause and rewind continuously. These past few months have been overflowing with those moments I wish could last forever. I’ve heard it said that it is the little moments that make life big. I truly believe that my heart is made of these little moments–whether it is cheering in the stands underneath the Friday night-lights in the pouring rain-or- road tripping to a concert in a car full of my best friends blasting Fergie -or- waking up extra early on Friday mornings to spend time in fellowship –or- cramming excessive amounts of girls at a lunch table made for eight -or- grabbing waffles on a Saturday morning –or- gathering around the library to do anything but study -or- sprinting through Animal Kingdom like a child to ride a roller coaster under the stars –or- sneaking out at camp to explore -or- jumping in to a pool full clothed with 85 of my classmates holding hands -or- sitting at my favorite place in my hometown with my closest friends while watching the sunset listening to nostalgic music.

It’s those moments with those people that remind me everything is just as it should be. It’s hard to think about things changing and those moments being all in the past but it is so sweet to remember that these are times and people who have shaped my heart and remain there until forever. We were not made to live in steadiness for our entire life. Things would eventually become stagnant and routine. In order to grow we must face change. The difficult times and the joyous times are all molding us in so many ways that we do not realize at times. It’s hard to let go of some of it but there is so much planned for us ahead to be pumped about.

There is never going to be an easy time to let go of some of it but I think the best thing we can do is live in the now rather than the tomorrow or the yesterday. So just for the moment, let’s be still.

But Whom You Are With

I recently took a trip to Disney World with my class for our senior trip. This trip was everything and more than I imagined. I didn’t have many expectations going in to it. I figured I would have a fun time and ride some roller coasters and hoped to feel some of the Disney magic that’s always spoken of. However the magic that I felt did not just stem from Mickey Mouse or Cinderella, but also from my friends with whom I spent the week with.

Everybody had a whole new attitude about everything from the moment we arrived in the happiest place on earth. It was so cool to see the girls around me smiling from ear to ear literally skipping around after a long, claustrophobic bus ride. There was something so sweet about all of us being together while we were away from our normal everyday lives in something so nostalgic and fun. It seemed as if everybody left all of their cares in our snowy parking lot back home and were ready for a few days of bliss and child like wonder.

Disney World is said to be “The Happiest Place on Earth” and I can agree with that 100%. But I think what made the four days I spent there so happy were the people I was with. We spent every waking minute together on this trip. Together we ran through parks, spent way too much money on subpar food, stood in long lines, rode rides that brought us back to our childhood, watched fireworks, watched Mickey Mouse as the defeated the villains of Disney, and did every bit of this laughing and loving on each other.

It’s fun to be a kid. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all of us have a kid in us. It’s fun to still believe in the magic of dreaming and it’s fun to believe in those dreams. It’s fun to still get excited over the little things. Heck yes my friends and I watched all of the Disney characters dance around on a boat while fireworks went off surrounding Mickey Mouse at Fantasmic and heck yes we all smiled, cried, and screamed about it all at once. Nothing else really mattered in this moment other than the fact that we were together holding hands watching flashbacks from our childhood float in a giant boat in water that was literally on fire in front of us.

Let’s be real, waiting in line is usually rough and brings out the impatient side in people. But not on this trip. Yes, my friends and I much preferred the rides without 100-minute lines, but that honestly did not stop us. Because that was 100 minutes we were spending in each other’s company. The lines did not even feel like much most of the time because we were always talking or playing some random game that we would play when we were little. In theory things probably got really long and maybe we were a little antsy, but we were all too excited to be with each other while acting a fool. I once heard that it’s not what you’re doing, but whom you are with. That’s what we all kept saying together as we stood with each other in lines or ran through parks to catch a ride or spun too fast on tea cups with. None of that would have been as fun or as magical if we had not been with each other in the best of spirits.

When riding rollercoasters there is an option to ride single rider with a shorter wait time. We did this a few times but in all honesty I low key much preferred to wait in line with my peeps so I could ride with them rather than sit next to some random parent. I came to learn that screaming with your hands in the air on a ride is much more enjoyable next to a homie who is doing it right there next to you. I think that’s kind of how life is. It’s more enjoyable to do life with people beside you who are willing to let their own freak flag fly with you. It’s cool to be with people who make the weird little things enjoyable but also celebrate the big things with you. We were put on this Earth for each other friends and so that we can love each other and ride the coaster of life together.

I think it’s important whom we choose to ride with through life. We need people around us who will be kids with us and push us to dream like no other. We need people who are willing to wait with us in our own seasons of waiting and who will skip with us when we’re feeling it.

It could be kind of cool if we treated our lives like we were at Disney-if we treated the places we went like they were full of happiness and magic. We could let old things continue to amaze us and be surprised and excited about new things that come our way. We would be doing life the way it was meant to be lived. Life was created to be enjoyed, not just endured-kind of like waiting in line.

So I encourage you to find somebody who will sit beside you with their hands in the air screaming and smiling at what comes next! Life is de bubble peeps so enjoy it.

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A Walk Home

I once saw a quote from Ram Dass while scrolling through Pinterest that read, “We are all just walking each other home.”  I know this is one phrase that many have heard but it has stuck with me since.  I love the thought of this.  I love the simplicity of it.  I believe we are put in each other’s lives to love and to inspire.  We are made to simply walk through life with one another to the point where we are seriously walking each other home-to the Kingdom.

I think we are called to inspire the people around us.  This may be through our love. Our joyfulness. Our forgiveness. Our spontaneity. Our faithfulness. Our courage. Our passion.  Our grace.  I know many of the things that I have learned about life have not been from school.  I learn from my family and my friends.  I learn from the people around me.  The people who surround me teach me how to love.  How to live with joy.  How to forgive.  How to be spontaneous. How to be a faithful girl.  How to have courage. How to live with passion. And how to show grace.  I have learned how to be these things because the people in my life have been these things for me.  No-nobody sits down with a rule book on how to live a life full of qualities such as these or stands in front of me and teaches me a lesson.  They teach me these things through the way they live their life and offer me all of these qualities everyday.

I know that there is no way I could make it through my life with a joyful heart without the people right beside me walking with me.  Without them pushing me to be my best me.  I am who I am because of the people who I have lived with every day my whole life.  I am who I am because of the people I grew up in the church with.  I am who I am because of the people I eat with at lunch every day at school.  I am who I am because of the people who sit with me in the library.  I am who I am because of my leaders and the people I lead with.  I am who I am because Jesus hand picked every single person who inspires me and placed them in my life so that I may learn.  So that I may also teach and inspire.

How cool is it that you may be the person who teaches somebody what true forgiveness looks like?  Or that you may be the person who inspires somebody to live with joy through the way you carry yourself?

We are all living this life.  And we are meant to live it together.  Everybody needs somebody.  We are here to stand by each other when things are great.  And we are here to stand by each other when things aren’t too hot.  Everybody is really just trying to live and go through life just like the rest of us, so why not do it together?  We are trying to make it through and make it home.  But we can’t do this without inspiration. We need each other.

The people who walk with us may be walking with us for life.  Others who walk with us may just be walking with us for a short journey but a needed journey.  The people who walk with us are walking with us to help us discover who we are and what we are about.

The way I see it is that we are walking each other home to our one true home, the house of God.  To the home of welcoming arms and everlasting love.  I believe that this home is joy.  This home is grace. And this home is love.  I think it’s cool that we are called to shine some light in the darkness around us so that others may want to join us on our journey home. 

So thank you.  Thank you to my family and my peeps for walking with me through this crazy life that we live and for inspiring me daily.

Click the link below to catch 7:27 minutes of the people who have helped me discover who I am by simply living their life with me.

First Semester Senior Year

20 Seconds of Courage

“Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage.  Just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you something great will come of it.”

Today was a good day to have a good day.  What started out as an ordinary day of routine ended with a day of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and going against my own ordinary.  You see, I am my own worst enemy.  I convince myself that I cannot do things.  I let my fear control my actions which leads me to sitting back to watch others live boldly rather than living it myself.  I have such so much adventure in my soul and I long for the thrill of things.  In the end though, I make up excuses as to why I should NOT do something rather than why I SHOULD.  But not today.  Today was the day I did something to make me proud of myself.

These people below are two people that I have never seen nor will probably ever see again.  But these two are two of the most important factors in my new found whimsy.  Let me tell you why.

As I was sitting in Starbucks drinking my Iced Caramel Macchiato with my three best friends, I spotted the guy through the window.  My friends and I found ourselves staring through the window at this guy.  We were being typical girls and marveling at his looks and wanting to know more about him.  That typically happens and that is usually when the conversation ends.  But not this time.  I jokingly suggested that I should go outside and ask him if I could interview him for a new blog I started.  I would tell him that I started a blog to interview people and take their picture to get a glimpse in to common people’s lives.  Like I said, I JOKINGLY suggested it.  My friends however did not take this as a joke.

“YOU HAVE TO.”

“WHAT ARE THE ODDS?”

“You have nothing to lose!!!”

My fear told me that I had everything to lose but my heart told me that I should do something that I normally tell myself that I could never do.  Me being me, I contemplated this for 30+ minutes.  I acted as if this was the most nerve wrecking decision of my life.  Isn’t that ridiculous? I was scared to talk to another human.  That’s when I decided to kick my fear to the side and take approximately 10 shaky steps to the outdoor lounge of Starbucks.  There was no going back now.

After awkwardly interrupting this boy and the girl beside him, I sat down to ask these two a few questions, because why not?  My passion is people and sitting with two strangers for five minutes pumped me up.

So meet these two.  I wish I could tell you their names, but I don’t know them.  I was so nervous that asking their names like a normal human being completely slipped my mind.  I jumped right in to it.  So since we don’t know their names, we will call them “boy” and “girl.”  I learned that girl used to go to high school at my rival school and that boy is from South Africa.  Yes, South Africa!!!  The whole time my friends and I were observing from afar, we were joking about whether he went to UGA or UNC due to his contradicting outfit choice.  South Africa is the last of what I would have guessed.  The more you know.  I assumed they were dating, but wanted to make sure before asking them about relationships because that would just be weird.  Boy and Girl are engaged!!!  That was the best moment.  Watching them look at each other and then back at me.  Of course I asked them what they love about the other.  Girl loves that boy let’s her do her own thing.  She says that he is giving and care free whereas she is very type A.  Boy loves that girl is “very driven. She is such a hard worker and the most caring girl [he knows.”]……”and she’s beautiful.” He said after taking a short pause to look at her.

Though this conversation was short and (very) sweet, it was what I needed.  I have a hard time being bold and finding my whimsy.  But with help of three of my best friends and two strangers, I found what I love.  I love people.  I love stories.  I love to do things that make me uncomfortable.

Nervous feelings are the worst.  But the feelings after doing what makes you scared are the best.  You’ve accomplished something from within.  You have conquered your fear and opened up a new perspective!  Whether this fear be getting on a roller coaster or going somewhere unknown or texting that boy/girl or going for that job or simply striking up a conversation with somebody in a coffee shop, doing something about this fear may be what changes your outlook on things.  Conquering this fear may be what stops you from holding yourself back to endless possibilities.

Jesus tells us in Isaiah 41 to not fear because he is with us.  He says, “do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I  will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.”  This is what gets me through day to day life.  This is what lead me to taking those 10 steps outside to talk with boy and girl.  This is what is going to lead me through going to college over 800 miles away from home.  Jesus does not want us to be scared!  He wants us to live a life of adventure and FUN.  He does not want us to hold ourselves back because we are scared.  He wants us to do what makes us scared with the reassurance that he is with us and for us!  He wants us to have 20 seconds of insane courage.

So here is to new perspectives.  And here is to new adventures, big and little.